Great Expectations

This boy is in for a real letdown when he sees the floors at my house! LOL!

Another picture.....

From Jessica -- Thanks!

On my way home from my second trip to the Bronx Zoo this summer...

....I was thinking about all the things I like to do and am interested in -- zoos, aquariums, amusement parks. Until he's about 11 or 12, Adam is likely to think I am the coolest, most fun mom ever. After that, he will be completely embarassed by me.

Tickets! I have tickets!

I'm leaving from Newark on September 6, flying Continental to Tokyo, then JAL from Tokyo to Ho Chi Minh City. I'll be meeting Adam on September 9! The G&R is set for September 10th, 5 days before my birthday! The best early birthday present anyone could hope for! Right now, we're scheduled to come home September 28, but I'm 90% sure it will be earlier.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to control myself in the orphanage -- I'm going to want to tuck all the babies into the cow suitcase and take them home with me!

So, today I was going to post about...

....money. About how money is such a charged issue in my family and I don't want it to be so for Adam. How I'm planning to educate him about money, how I plan to teach him by having him divide any money gifts he receives into portions -- one third for long term savings for big items he wants, one third for him to spend as he wishes, and one third for charitable donations. I was going to write about how maybe twice a year, perhaps on his birthday and on the anniversary of our forever family day, we would decide together on the charity to receive his donations. But I'm not going to write about that today. Because TODAY is the day I got my Giving and Receiving gate -- Adam will be in my arms on September 10! His 17 month birthday and 5 days before my birthday! Could there be a better early birthday gift!

Ok, Vinh Long officials...

....I have my Visa in my hot little hands....I am ready for the call.......

My Family's Claim to "Fame"

In July of 1945, an Army plane crashed into the Empire State Building. My paternal grandfather, who worked for War Relief Services of the National Catholic Welfare Conference was one of the people killed in the crash. He helped guide several of his office mates to safety -- an interesting twist is that one of the women he helped save was the future mother of Philippe Petit -- who in 1974 walked a highwire between the Twin Towers.

My grandfather left 4 children under the age of 12 and a pregnant wife who miscarried days later.

My grandmother was the first private citizen to sue the United States Government and win. I'm not sure of the amount of the settlement, but know it was small and inadequate for her to raise four children. (Money, of course, can never replace a loved one but I can't help but imagine how much money she would have gotten had this happened today?)

Years later, one of my uncles met a man on a plane who, recognizing the last name, asked if he was related to one of the crash victims. He went on to say that he was a lawyer and if my uncle ever wanted to reopen the case, he should be in touch because he was there when the pilot took off and he was drunk! Damn, we should OWN the Empire State Building.

It helps me to understand why people are the way they are and why they behave the way that they do. Its interesting to wonder how my father's life would have been different had his father lived and what impact it would have had, in turn, on my childhood and that of my brothers. All I can come up with is that it would have been different, but I don't know that it would have necessarily been better. At one time, my grandfather was in the seminary studying to be a priest. He was asked to leave because he was "too rigid" for the Catholic Church. Hoo boy! Now, even today, the Catholic Church is not exactly known for its flexibility. I can't imagine how rigid "too rigid" was for the Catholic Church in the 1920s! Thus, "different", but not necessarily "better".

The dreaded "S" word....

...has finally been spoken. September. As in "Hoping for a September G&R...

Woman on the edge

The problem is, there just isn't ENOUGH chocolate! My "acting as if" did indeed carry me through the weekend. The really cool cool cow suitcase arrived and now has all of Adam's things packed in it. I finally got started on moving from one bedroom to the other with an eye towards getting started painting Adam's room this weekend. I picked up my typhoid and malaria meds -- if anyone needs to know, the typhoid vaccine is $80. Its the only one of all the vaccines that Oxford didn't cover. I guess they don't mind shelling out for typhoid treatment. LOL! Oh well, $80 is a bargain not to get typhoid.

My positive attitude momentum started to flag a little this morning but came crashing to a halt at about 1:30 when I found out that my visa is back, but that the embassy only gave me a ONE-MONTH visa! AAAIIIEEEE!!!!!

And, of course, its Tuesday, when Katie and Jynger have the all day social worker meetings so I can't get them on the phone and can't proceed without them. Do I send it back to be re-done? Well, that's another 10 days for processing, so I have to be sure my travel date won't comeup in those 10 days and I will be without my passport and visa. If I can be assured I will travel and be home by September 15 (my birthday, coincidentally), then I can leave it be. This amorphous "I think sometime soon but can't really say" travel date makes thing so stressful and complicated.

I realized how very close I am to the edge at all times with the adoption. It's been 5 months since my referral. In 3 weeks it will be 5 months since my log-in date. And I have just had enough. I have hit the wall.

Acting as if.....

...that's my motto for today. I'm acting "as if" I've gotten the call with my G&R date. I put in my prescriptions for the typhoid vaccine and the malaria med malarone and will pick them up at 5 p.m. Last night, I bought bottles, bottle liners, baby toothpaste and some kiddie meds -- mylicon and teething tablets. I bought a new suitcase for the trip which should be delivered today. It makes me laugh everytime I think about it -- it will certainly be easy to spot on the conveyor belts!

Once it arrives, I'm going to pack all of Adam's things in it. Then I am going to eat some more chocolate. Denial only goes so far.