"Before we met, I wanted you...Before I found you, I loved you...Before I touched your face, I would die for you...This is the miracle of love."

How Old is Adam?


Monday, April 14, 2014

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. - Nelson Mandela

How is it possible that Adam turns 8 in a few weeks! 8! It is a number that struck fear into my heart -- I had the startling, panicky realization that in 10 years he'll be in COLLEGE. I only have 10 more years with him. I know he'll always be mine, but its different once they go away to college. Can't we freeze time for just a little bit? Adam asked me the other day if it was a "rule" that you have to move out when you go to college. I fully understand that he will likely feel completely different when it gets closer, but right now, he has plans to go to St. Peter's in Jersey City so he can be home by 5 p.m. everyday. There was a long period of time where this blog was my lifeline, my touchstone. It held my hand through the long wait to bring Adam home and kept me company in those crazy first few single parent years. Particularly when there was no sleeping and no pooping going on in my house. LOL! Blogging helped me think through situations and focus my attention, kept me from being distracted or distracting myself. I miss it. I think I need it. So, here we are. Much has happened in the three years since I last posted -- we gained and lost a beloved stepfather/grandfather. It was breathtaking how much influence, learning, change, healing and love a person can impart into your lives in such a short period of time. We lost our beloved dog, the much lamented Nea just over two years ago. It was as "good" a death as you can hope for -- she died in her sleep, in my bed, with her head on my stomach at the astonishing age of 19 years and 7 months. It doesn't get much better than that. We are just now to the point where we are thinking about a new dog. We are starting to miss having a dog, rather than just missing Nea. Adam just started the last semester of second grade. He is in a wonderful charter school based on the principles of Martin Luther King, Jr. He is bright, funny, tender, sentimental. He struggles with adoption issues, and deeply grieves his birth family. He has not one ounce of shyness, never has. He is open and warm. Everyone knows Adam, people on the street, in the stores, on buses and trains. He is interested in absolutely everything. You can take him anywhere and he has never once said to me "I'm bored....." He is absolutely the perfect boy for me. So, stick around. I'm back and ff and running!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Five! How is it possible?

Adam will be five next week. Five! That's not a baby, or even a toddler! That's kindergarten! REAL school!

It's been a year of stunning growth and some real struggles. The child can read! He sleeps in his own bed, and, believe or not, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY sleeps through the night MOST nights. While far from normal, his "pooping problem" is better than it has ever been. As is his eating. On rare occasions, I even hear the phrase "I'm hungry!" from him.

He remains incredibly social and extremely...er....verbose. Every time out he has ever gotten in school has been for talking too much, with the exception of that time he "showed a teacher his tongue." Every time we leave the house, we run into someone who knows Adam, be it a store cashier, a local firefighter, or just someone who has seen him in the neighborhood in his firefighter costume. Or his Ironman helmet. Or his pirate costume.

He still loves music and dance, and was so proud of his debut as the Wise Man King Gaspar in his school's Christmas play this past Christmas. "I am King Gaspar, I bring him myrrh, a bitter herb, because he will have to suffer." A cheerful Christmas line for a four year old if I ever heard one. And he did double duty appearing as Alvin in his class's individual number "The Chipmunk Song."

He's a baseball fan (naturally - he doesn't have much of a choice in this house!), loves Max & Ruby, though he finds Ruby to be a little bossy (the bossy pot calling the kettle black in the extreme), Team Umizoomi, Rugrats, Ironman, Power Rangers Samurai(help me), and Hawaii Five-O.

I have yet to take him anywhere that didn't interest him. I can take him to the mall and he is content to shop with me and has definite opinions on clothing. He is the only child I've ever know who has always played with money. When he was younger, he would take coins and stuff them into his cars. The other day he emptied the contents of his piggybank and spent close to two hours amusing himself. He poured them into dump trunks and drove them around, he piled them up, and dumped them. He put them into his pots and pans and made coin meals. He is never bored.

We've started to tackle some hard issues. I've had him cry to me that he doesn't want me to get old, that he doesn't want me to die when he gets old. I've been asked the dreaded "Did I grow in your tummy?" question and had to tell him that as dearly as I wish he had, he didn't. I've been asked how do babies get in tummies. Four is not as young as it used to be.

His temper remains formidable and his rage in a tantrum takes me aback. We have struggled mightily this year with tantrums and are getting good help.

Adam is almost five. Where has the time gone? Its gone into my heart -- into precious memories and the foundation of what is yet to come. What could be better than that?

Friday, April 1, 2011

So, I' ve been thinking....

....about about facebook and how its instant gratification with little effort impacts on blogging and not blogging. And its not enough anymore. I miss blogging. I've also been thinking about the nature of the blog. I wanted to put more "me" into it. For it not to be focussed on Adam, although I do still want to capture Adam and his adventures. I wanted to address more personal topics and thoughts and social issues and this didn't seem to be the place to do it. And I do still want to capture Adam and his adventures. So it seems that the solution is to have TWO blogs. Now that I finally have internet access at home, I think the time is right to get back to updating this blog and starting the new blog. The new blog can be found at kathy-thinkingthroughmyfingers.blogspot.com. Hope to see you there -- and here!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I couldn't have said it better myself

A love of reading shows curiosity about the world & how it works, whether you're reading a science journal or a novel or a history book. A love of reading shows empathy, the desire to understand how others live or act or might act - and why. A love of reading lets you connect with other minds across space and time, exploring similar passions & finding new ones. Curiosity, empathy, passion -these are all qualities I want my son to have. They'll help him succeed later in life, & they'll also make him a better, more interesting person. - Amy Ng