What a disappointment I am!

We got into the elevator at daycare this morning with one of the staff. She says hello to Adam, and asks how he is. He looks at her for a moment and then says "Mama no car. Carseat. No car." and shakes his head sadly. LOL!. Less than a year ago, he had probably never been in a car. Now I am already letting him down by not having a car. (Although he did graciously acknowledge the fact that we do indeed have a car seat!)

I was going to post today...

...a long rambling post, with a little whining, some fun stories.....but I just received very sad news from a friend who was waiting on travel for her baby girl. The baby girl has just been diagnosed with a very serious health condition and they will not be able to bring her home. As you can imagine, their hearts are breaking. And mine is too. I just want to go home and hug my healthy child and feel grateful.

There is a new saint.......

...and her name is Alphonsa. Alphonsa is one of Adam's former teachers. Adam loved all three of the teachers, but Alphonsa was always special to him. He cried every day when she went to lunch and always awoke from his nap well ahead of the other children (just when she would return from lunch) and would have time with Alphonsa all to himself. She, in turn, adores him, and finds even his temper hilarious.

One day last week when I picked Adam up, his new teacher (Mrs. Cherry -- on whom the jury of opinion is still out) said Alphonsa was looking for me. When I found her, she asked me if Adam could stay with her that Friday (daycare was closed for the Feast of the Assumption.) Can he stay with her? Yes! Yes! Of course he can!

When I picked him up -- and she lives two blocks away! -- after what appeared to be a very fun day for both of them, Alphonsa volunteered that she would watch him anytime I needed her. If I needed to go shopping or go to a movie, I should just give her a call! I almost fell upon her weeping and kissing her. I could go to a movie! I have a babysitter! Woo hoo!

I don't quite believe it myself...

...but nothing has been thrown in the no throwing house since Monday night.....

An experiment

I am close to my wits' end with Adam's throwing things when he is angry. I know this is a normal stage, but I also know that it can't be tolerated. I know he needs to learn other ways to express anger. I want him to know that any feeling he has is ok -- its the actions associated with the feelings that can be problematical. It is ok to be angry, but it is not ok to throw a car at the dog because you are angry.

I know some of this will come in time as his language abilities grow, but, in the meantime, the throwing simply needs to stop. I came up with an idea that I am desperately hoping will work. On Friday, I told Adam that as of Monday, we live in a "no throwing house". If he throws something, he gets warned once not to throw. The second time he throws it, it goes into the new "no throwing" box, well out of his reach. Once it goes in, I set a timer for two minutes and he cannot have it back until the timer goes off. His bottle went into the no throwing box 6 times in half an hour last night.

Keep your fingers crossed!

You could have knocked me over with a feather!

Adam recently weighed in at a little over 22 pounds and I've been a bit concerned about how slowly he's gaining weight. The last time I measured him was his birthday so I decided to check his height last night and was stunned to see he's grown TWO INCHES since April! Two inches! Given that, the fact that he gained even that little bit of weight is amazing!

Well, of course.....

...Adam's stress over the change in his caretakers is playing out in his sleep. In the last month or so, he's actually slept through the night on occasion, maybe 3 times a week, and wakened 1 or 2 times on the other nights -- a much welcome development that improved the quality of both our lives immensely. Monday night, he was up every 90 minutes all night long. Last night was a little better but he was still up three or four times. Sigh.

Ok, its official, I'm one of those crazy mothers....

Daycare reopened today (woo hoo!) after a month's vacation. Adam and I were both very excited. He's been looking forward to seeing his beloved teachers Alphonsa and Elizabeth. I've been looking forward to just walking down the block to drop him off rather than drive 20 minutes.

We practically ran down the hallway to his classroom this morning only to be met by Mrs. Helen announcing "He's not in my class this year." HUH?!?!?! I was stunned and quite flabbergasted. . She repeats it and tells me I'll have to go to the office to find out what classroom he is supposed to be in. By this point, Adam is crying because a little boy in the classroom was standing by the door crying and you know how one kid crying sets off all the others...

So I carry my crying boy to the office, furious and upset. I knew that the way the school was structured they would plan to move him at age 2 and a half (he won't be 2 and a half until October) and was already working on my argument to keep him in the same classroom for the balance of the school year and move him next year. As my faithful readers know, Adam has trouble with any change in the daycare routine. I suspect that is at least in part because the loss of his caretakers in Vietnam is still less than a year old. It took a lot for him to trust the teachers and love them.

I think it is too soon for this move, he is too young to understand it. Just as it was too soon for me to leave him with someone other than Mrs. Helen for this first vacation from school. Next year he will be 3 when the vacation comes around, more secure in the situation and able to understand more.

I barged into the office like a madwoman, demanding to know "Why?" "Why?" he was moved. They moved all the kids from his class at the same time. Their argument was that it would be harder to move him in October than now. Sigh. We left it at "Just let him try for a few days...."

I was much more upset about HOW this was handled. Why did I not know this ahead of time? I could have helped prepare him a bit for this transition. Instead, I feel like he was blindsided (he was!) and that he must think I lied to him. We kept talking about how happy Elizabeth and Alphonsa would be to see him and how much he loved them. I cried all the way to work on the subway, feeling his pain, and convinced that I have damaged his trust, that I lied to him and betrayed him.

It's official. I'm one of those crazy mothers.