How frustrating is the "no update" update? You see the email pop up in your inbox from your agency and your heart leaps -- and then you open it and see that there is actually no update. Sigh.
This part of the process is excruciating -I hate not being able to do anything to move this forward. Since there truly is nothing I can do except sulk and whine, and those are less than productive past times, I've decided to try and shift my attitude and focus on the positive things about the waiting period. (I can't swear it will work, but I'm going to try!)
On the positive side, I have had a lot of time to read about adoption issues and child development. I just finished "Attaching in Adoption", which was terrific. I've also read the classic "The Magic Years", and a great book called "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys".
On Friday, I received "Toddler Adoption" and "Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion". I'm very excited to read both of them. (Disclaimer: please please, dear readers, do not take me to task about "Parent Beyond Belief". I completely respect the feeling and beliefs of those whose religious beliefs ares central to their lives. My beliefs are as deeply felt and important to me and have been arrived at after a life time of searching and reading and learning. My mind is not going to be changed on this issue at this point in my life.)
I've had the time to network and become involved in the internet support community of families with children from Vietnam. I have learned so much from the assorted groups I belong to and the blogs of those who have "been there/done that". Following the blogs of parents as they travel have been especially illuminating and helpful.
I'm starting to take the next step and actually meet people from these lists in my area -- I look forward to getting to know more parents and children and having their support and friendship in our lives once Adam comes home, and being able to give my support and friendship in return.
All this invaluable information and support and friendship -- what did we do before the internet?
Its time to get started on Adam's room. I've had the crib for over a year, and received most of the other furniture and items at my shower in November. Its going to be a lot of work -- I'm moving into the second bedroom in my apartment and Adam will have the room that is currently mine. So, aside from assembling the crib and dresser/changing table, I've got to move my own furniture and paint. I hope this project can absorb a lot of my attention and distract me from the wait.
Ok, I'm being positive. Do I get rewarded with a REAL update now?
How Old is Adam?
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11 comments:
I'm so sorry that you are caught in the "no update" doldrums. I hope that your boat will be moving again soon, and that you'll be holding that sweet Adam.
On the other hand, way to go on all the great things you are doing right now! I love to read about people's constructive uses of this waiting time - I think our kids will all be proud of us for that attitude some day! Good luck with the painting & we all want pictures! :)
Paula
How fun to work on the nursery! Can't wait to see pics!
Good luck with getting an update! And it's great to read about all the books you're reading/about to read - I have pulled all of them up on Amazon and have them on my wish list - would be curious to hear how you like the ones you are about to read, as both sound intriguing to me as well.
Oh the "no update" emails would make my day spiral down. You are right.....when you see the email your heart just jumps, and then when you get the "no update" it drops to the floor! But you will soon get the best update!! It is coming. Have fun with the nursery! It really is exciting to put together and gives you that visual "proof" that your baby IS coming!! Can't wait to see pics.
You should definitely be rewarded with a 'real' update. If you actually did any moving/painting this weekend, then I think you should get new pictures *lol* I hope Jynger has good news for you this week, but keep your eyes on the end of the month when JessicaJ travels and can take tons of pics for you!!!
I love all the reading you're doing. Reading about parenting and about Vietnam is a great way to pass the time while learning info you can really use. You're so thoughtful in your approach to parenting, I can tell -- Adam is so lucky to have you!
Here's to a big update for you this week!!
Adam is is adorable!I hope you can go get him soon. I am guessing around 7/17! (I know you didn't ask us to guess but I've been playing with LauraT's excel sheet lately!)Let us know when you find something out!
The very first essay in Parenting Beyond Belief is by Julia Sweeney, who adopted her daughter from China. Should be an especially good read for you!
I messed up big time on my guess. I was confusing you with the Munns and KimV. But I don't think are hearing anything right now that would put them there in July. How about 8/13 for guess instead, using LauraT's excel sheet. Of course you are the first one after the changes, so who knows! You probably already knew I was way off with the first guess!
Hope you hear great news soon!
I don't mean to "take you to task", I really do respect your decision, I just hope you will afford Adam the same freedom to make his own decision, as you have had.
Hopefully you'll hear some news soon!
Hi Erin - thanks for your comment. I absolutely plan to allow him the freedom to make his own choices when it comes to religion. Interestingly, that is one of the points in the book Parenting Beyond Belief. It suggests you expose the child to all different belief systems and religion very openly, including your own, of course, and if he shows an interest in one, be open to allowing him to develop it. So, that's what I plan to do!
Hope you are all adjusting to being home!
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