Adam is a very social and affectionate child. He will happily blow kisses at you, high five you, sit on your lap, hug you. However, with the exception of his teachers, he draws the line at being picked up by other people. Even people he knows quite well and sees often. I suspect he harbors a fear of someone picking him up and carrying him away from his life with me -- which is exactly what I did to him last September. I respect that boundary and warn other people about it.
Recently, I brought Adam into my office for our annual Ice Cream Party. They turn the salad bar in the cafeteria into a sundae fixings bar, and there's ice cream, hot pretzels, cookies, balloons, music and some sort of fun activity for the kids. It's my favorite day of the work year.
One of my co-workers asked if she could pick Adam up. I replied that I would prefer that she wouldn't as he would scream. Well, she bent right down and picked him up and YES, he screamed. She looked stunned and said "Oh, I thought I would have the magic touch." Sigh.
How Old is Adam?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The bitter bottle battle...or "who's in charge here anyway?"
I know you've all heard it before, but they don't call them the terrible twos for nothing!
So, Adam and I have been having a little power struggle. When he is angry, he tends to throw whatever he is holding at that moment. This is often a bottle. The twist is that he expects ME to pick it up and bring it back to him after it is thrown. At which point, 9 out of 10 times, he would throw it again and then scream for me to get it. Well, I got tired of that one REAL quick. Unfortunately, Adam didn't.
About two weeks ago, I decided to bite the bullet and simply refuse to retrieve anything he's thrown -- he had to get it himself. (I know, I know --we also need to work on the actual "throwing" problem -- but one step at a time.)
I was quickly reminded that Adam has a lot of qualities that, when channelled properly, will be strengths for him. Focus, stick-to-it-iveness, determination --right now, though, those qualities merely produce tantrums of the highest quality. Adam is a most excellent tantrum thrower. He can stay with it for hours...and there is no distracting him. That just makes him madder. LOL!
His crowning performance lasted one hour and 45 minutes -- mind you, the bottle was two inches away from his hand and he would NOT pick it up. I was to pick it up. At one point he had knocked the bottle even further away and I picked him up and carried him over to the bottle -- it was so hard not to laugh when he put his hands behind his back rather than pick it up. The child is good.
Rather than simply reminding him that when he throws something, he has to pick it up, I tried something a little different recently. In a jocular tone, I asked him "Who threw the bottle?" and we went down a list. "Did Mama throw the bottle?" "No...." "Did Nea throw the bottle?" "No....." and after 6 or 7 names I asked "Did Adam throw the bottle?" Much to my surprise, he said yes, laughed, and went and picked it up! Its worked more than once now. Keep your fingers crossed.
So, Adam and I have been having a little power struggle. When he is angry, he tends to throw whatever he is holding at that moment. This is often a bottle. The twist is that he expects ME to pick it up and bring it back to him after it is thrown. At which point, 9 out of 10 times, he would throw it again and then scream for me to get it. Well, I got tired of that one REAL quick. Unfortunately, Adam didn't.
About two weeks ago, I decided to bite the bullet and simply refuse to retrieve anything he's thrown -- he had to get it himself. (I know, I know --we also need to work on the actual "throwing" problem -- but one step at a time.)
I was quickly reminded that Adam has a lot of qualities that, when channelled properly, will be strengths for him. Focus, stick-to-it-iveness, determination --right now, though, those qualities merely produce tantrums of the highest quality. Adam is a most excellent tantrum thrower. He can stay with it for hours...and there is no distracting him. That just makes him madder. LOL!
His crowning performance lasted one hour and 45 minutes -- mind you, the bottle was two inches away from his hand and he would NOT pick it up. I was to pick it up. At one point he had knocked the bottle even further away and I picked him up and carried him over to the bottle -- it was so hard not to laugh when he put his hands behind his back rather than pick it up. The child is good.
Rather than simply reminding him that when he throws something, he has to pick it up, I tried something a little different recently. In a jocular tone, I asked him "Who threw the bottle?" and we went down a list. "Did Mama throw the bottle?" "No...." "Did Nea throw the bottle?" "No....." and after 6 or 7 names I asked "Did Adam throw the bottle?" Much to my surprise, he said yes, laughed, and went and picked it up! Its worked more than once now. Keep your fingers crossed.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Where to start?
Well, I guess I'll start with where I left you. Then I'll slowly get you caught up after the whirlwind that June and July have been.
Thankfully, Adam's head teacher, the famous Mrs. Helen, returned to school with her broken foot healed on the last day of classes. I was able to make arrangements with her to care for him during the vacation. I took two weeks off in July to offset the ridiculous cost of renting a car in the NYC tristate area. Even so, it's costing me more to rent a car for two weeks than I normally pay for a month of daycare!
So, we leave the house between 7 and 7:15 a.m. drive 15-20 minutes to Mrs. Helen's house. I drop him off about 7:30-7:45, turn around and drive back and park the car in a garage near the PATH train. You cannot park on the streets in Jersey City without a permit. You cannot get a permit if you don't have a car registered to a Jersey City address. If you park without a permit, you must move the car every two hours during the hours of 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. That would seriously cut into my working day! LOL! So, its a garage for me. Then I hop on the PATH train and head to work, beginning my work day a mere 4 hours after I've arisen.
I leave the office at 4, and do the whole thing in reverse, picking him up around 5:15 and we're home and exhausted by 5:50 or so.
Its been expensive and tiring, but it really was the best thing for Adam. After a day or two of tears at the drop off and pick up, he's now saying"Bye bye Mama" before Helen even answers the door bell. School opens August 4, so we'll be back to our normal routine soon.
Thankfully, Adam's head teacher, the famous Mrs. Helen, returned to school with her broken foot healed on the last day of classes. I was able to make arrangements with her to care for him during the vacation. I took two weeks off in July to offset the ridiculous cost of renting a car in the NYC tristate area. Even so, it's costing me more to rent a car for two weeks than I normally pay for a month of daycare!
So, we leave the house between 7 and 7:15 a.m. drive 15-20 minutes to Mrs. Helen's house. I drop him off about 7:30-7:45, turn around and drive back and park the car in a garage near the PATH train. You cannot park on the streets in Jersey City without a permit. You cannot get a permit if you don't have a car registered to a Jersey City address. If you park without a permit, you must move the car every two hours during the hours of 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. That would seriously cut into my working day! LOL! So, its a garage for me. Then I hop on the PATH train and head to work, beginning my work day a mere 4 hours after I've arisen.
I leave the office at 4, and do the whole thing in reverse, picking him up around 5:15 and we're home and exhausted by 5:50 or so.
Its been expensive and tiring, but it really was the best thing for Adam. After a day or two of tears at the drop off and pick up, he's now saying"Bye bye Mama" before Helen even answers the door bell. School opens August 4, so we'll be back to our normal routine soon.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I know I owe you all a BIG update...
...and I promise its coming. In the meantime, two pictures to tide you over...
On the beach with Uncle Daniel. Note how high in my arms Adam is and the position of his feet. He wanted nothing to do with the sand after it got on his hands and feet once. That was the end of the beach.
Adam, cousin Ashley, Mama, and our long-suffering Nea in Florida last week.
On the beach with Uncle Daniel. Note how high in my arms Adam is and the position of his feet. He wanted nothing to do with the sand after it got on his hands and feet once. That was the end of the beach.
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