"Before we met, I wanted you...Before I found you, I loved you...Before I touched your face, I would die for you...This is the miracle of love."

How Old is Adam?

Lilypie

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tempering the temper

Have I mentioned that Adam has a TERRIBLE temper? No, really. A TERRIBLE temper. Combine that with an iron will and an incredible ability to focus and persevere and well, Mama's exhausted. I keep telling myself that, with the exception of the actual temper, these are strengths. That,properly channeled, will be an enormous advantage. But, it is sometimes hard to remember that, when he is moving towards the the second hour of a screaming rage -- not one tear in his eye, mind you, just pure rage, that perhaps I have chosen to discipline him for throwing or hitting.

Last night was one of those nights, where he was just tantrummy all night long. I can't even remember what he threw, but I put him in his crib for a time out. Because I know the child, I removed his pillow, blanket, and cars that he sleeps with from the crib prior to depositing him because I knew he would simply seize upon them and throw them as well.

I put him in the crib, told him why he was there, set the timer and sat on the couch. Not 5 seconds later, his shoes came flying out of the room, followed shortly thereafter by his socks. But it was when his shirt came flying through the door that I had to smother my laughter. I thought perhaps I should strip him naked before his next time out, but was quickly dissuaded by the thought of the only thing that would be left for him to throw.

5 comments:

Leigh said...

Boy, you've got your hands full. You will, no doubt, get tons of "advise" from well-meaning folks regarding disciple and child rearing. The best resource we found, the one that literally saved us, was a book called, "Try and Make Me!: Simple Strategies That Turn Off the Tantrums and Create Cooperation" by Dr Ray Levy. Amazing.

Jennifer said...

I think I would've laughed too if I saw shoes and clothes flying out the door. I know its not funny - but I think you are right - these ultimately are strengths.

Holly is pretty strongwilled but hasn't had too bad of temper tantrums (YET!)

Anonymous said...

Binh will do much the same especially if he's hungry (he's like a little bear then.) I agree, clothes are much better than the alternative!
Hang in there. I don't know how single moms do it. Seriously, I salute you.

Jill and Andy said...

Kathy,

I am hoping I can get some advice from you. We are a Dillon family too.. Layne Nhi is 8 1/2 years old, adopted last summer from Ninh Thuan province. We are really considering a birth parent search, and I would love to talk with you further about your experience. If you could email me at: ajperkins2002@gmail.com
THANKS!!! Jill

Jennifer said...

Okay I spoke too soon - Holly is now on to temper tantrums... Maybe I'll email you...