....but I am compelled to share it anyway. I was tickling Adam the other day when my fingers suddenly arrived at his belly button, the same, cute little belly button I've seen a million times before. This time, for some reason, I was struck by two powerful emotional blasts -- the first was a real grief and sense of loss that Adam hadn't grown in my body, that we had not been connected at his beautiful little belly button. I was still reeling with that pain when the second wave hit me -- this very real evidence of his connection to his birth mother! And how she (and her husband) had made the difficult decision to give him up having had this connection....Had I not already been emotionally doubled over, this would have done it!
And yet...this is nothing I didn't know intellectually. I don't know why it hit me so viscerally now.....
See, I told you this was weird.
How Old is Adam?
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4 comments:
It's very weird that you posted this, because I was just thinking about my kids' belly buttons the other day. I was wondering if I might tell them later that they could just touch their belly buttons if they wanted to feel a connection to their birth moms. I'm not sure if that is a good idea or not.
I don't think it's weird at all. Sometimes when Parker and I are doing body parts I tell him how his belly button used to be connected to his VietNam mommy.
That's not weird at all. I have thought the same thing. My girls were talking about belly buttons yesterday - G~ just discovered that A~ has one and loves to poke at it. A~ asked me why we had one and as I explained it to her, it got me thinking about the very same thing you wrote about. I feel a sense of loss for him when I think about that. And for her as well.
Lina
http://snipssnailsandpuppydogtails.wordpress.com
Doesn't sound weird to me. I imagine as adoptive parents - we will have moments like this as we raise our children. It sounds like a pretty difficult moment to me though. Hope you are doing okay.
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