I know you've all heard it before, but they don't call them the terrible twos for nothing!
So, Adam and I have been having a little power struggle. When he is angry, he tends to throw whatever he is holding at that moment. This is often a bottle. The twist is that he expects ME to pick it up and bring it back to him after it is thrown. At which point, 9 out of 10 times, he would throw it again and then scream for me to get it. Well, I got tired of that one REAL quick. Unfortunately, Adam didn't.
About two weeks ago, I decided to bite the bullet and simply refuse to retrieve anything he's thrown -- he had to get it himself. (I know, I know --we also need to work on the actual "throwing" problem -- but one step at a time.)
I was quickly reminded that Adam has a lot of qualities that, when channelled properly, will be strengths for him. Focus, stick-to-it-iveness, determination --right now, though, those qualities merely produce tantrums of the highest quality. Adam is a most excellent tantrum thrower. He can stay with it for hours...and there is no distracting him. That just makes him madder. LOL!
His crowning performance lasted one hour and 45 minutes -- mind you, the bottle was two inches away from his hand and he would NOT pick it up. I was to pick it up. At one point he had knocked the bottle even further away and I picked him up and carried him over to the bottle -- it was so hard not to laugh when he put his hands behind his back rather than pick it up. The child is good.
Rather than simply reminding him that when he throws something, he has to pick it up, I tried something a little different recently. In a jocular tone, I asked him "Who threw the bottle?" and we went down a list. "Did Mama throw the bottle?" "No...." "Did Nea throw the bottle?" "No....." and after 6 or 7 names I asked "Did Adam throw the bottle?" Much to my surprise, he said yes, laughed, and went and picked it up! Its worked more than once now. Keep your fingers crossed.
How Old is Adam?
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6 comments:
Wow, that's quite a battle of wills you've got going on! He is no shrinking violet, that's for sure. I love the solution you've found. You are one smart mama!
I loved your "20-questions" game with Adam -- very clever way to deal with the situation and turn things around for him! Let's hope he gets through this "terrible-twos" phase soon!
I just can't picture that little cutie pie throwing a tantrum! Of course, they usually save that behavior for their Moms, not to be displayed for company, LOL!
I love your solution. Humor has gotten us through many such situations. The other day, Anna was DEMANDING I take her to a friend's house when I had just come home from work. After a rather heated exchange, I finally gave in. As I grabbed my car keys, I growled "Someday when I'm an old lady and I want to go shopping, you'd better take me." She thought this was HYSTERICAL, and we laughed all the way on our trip.
Hang in there! You are doing great! Standing firm is so hard but it will get easier. Adam sounds a lot like my youngest and he is a great kid now!
Hang in there! You are doing a great job! Standing firm is so hard but it will get easier. Adam sounds a lot like my youngest and he is a really good teenager now!
Seriously, what is it with these Vinh Long kiddos? Do the nannies teach stubborness and tantrum-throwing? Nothing makes Phoebe madder than when we start laughing in the middle of one of her 'fits'. But after three daughters, we're at least slightly more immune to the drama :)
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