Yesterday was the big day.....

I go back to work Wednesday so I started Adam in daycare Monday. Its a lovely place -- the focus is on fostering self-esteem through learning. His day includes art time, reading time and dance and music time. I think he's going to have a ball! He did cry when I left him yesterday, but I made goodbye quick and simple. When I picked him up, it was snack time and he was sitting in a high chair quite contentedly playing. (Sitting quietly in a high chair has yet to happen in our house!) He started to cry when he saw me. The teacher said he did cry a lot, but that he did nap and had a bottle and ate a whole yogurt! I'm very impressed! He stopped crying by the time we got to the elevator and walked happily home and was fine all night.

I anticipate this morning would be harder, as he now would realize I was going to leave him there. There were no tears at all when we got to the building and when we got off the elevator he walked straight to his classroom and waved hello to the teacher! He did start to cry at the "hand off", but all in all, it could not have gone better. Whew!

By popular demand -- we have pictures!

Other than the not eating and not sleeping thing...

....first off, I want to thank everyone who chimed in on the sleeping issues Adam is experiencing. I should have clarified that he was waking as much before I tried the crib and is waking as much now that he is back in my bed. Last night, he fell asleep at 7, woke at 8:20, 10, 12, 2:30, 4 and then we got up at 6. Sigh. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it will be this way for a while -- in fact, since he'll be starting daycare next week, I can only assume it will get worse, before it gets better.

So, other than the not eating and sleeping thing, I've been remiss in talking about Adam. He is such a firecracker. He is definitely a challenging child, but an absolutely hilarious one who is very clearly his own person. Since the first day he consented to be put in the stroller, he has gotten the biggest kick out of the wind. Since he loves to be fanned and loves to fan himself, I guess it follows logically. No matter how cold the wind is, it makes him laugh. On Saturday, we had wind gusts in excess of 40 mph. He could barely stay standing and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

He loves dogs, birds and buses. He "talks" to everyone we pass on the street, cashiers, people in the grocery store. If they don't respond, he yells until they do. He has a fabulous sense of humor and is quite a jokester. His latest joke is he will pull one hand inside his sleeve and present the empty sleeve to me for my reaction to his missing hand!

But what the child loves more than anything is to walk. The longest distance I've clocked him at is a little over a mile -- and he only stopped because we arrived at our destination.

Just wait until he starts eating and sleeping!

I spoke too soon....

...ah, the crib. It was a beautiful dream. Adam sleeping peacefully and mama finally getting a full night's sleep without Adam kicking and flopping around. Alas, the dream has yet to come to fruition. This poor child cannot stay asleep. He goes to bed willingly and cheerfully and falls asleep fairly easily. But he cannot STAY asleep. He awakens about every hour to hour and a half all night LLLLOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGG. He wants to sleep -- he tries hard to get back to sleep but gets so frustrated when he can't get back to sleep quickly.

I spent a few days sleeping on the floor in his room next to the crib, thinking perhaps it was the fact that he'd never slept in a room alone that was giving him trouble, but it didn't make any difference.

So, he's back in my bed. I'm getting a little more sleep as I'm not actually having to get out of bed to comfort him, but not much.

Has anyone else had this problem?

His energy level is very high and his mood is mostly good, so I'm not too worried, but I'm really really tired.

The milestones are coming fast and furious....

....its been a big few days -- not only did Adam say his first word -- "Nea" (the dog) -- but as we speak, he is sleeping.....IN HIS CRIB. Shhhh......

A bit better...

....so Oxford finally added Adam to my insurance policy and we had our first pediatrician visit yesterday. He did great -- mostly, I think, because he was so interested in all the new things to see. That is, of course, until the four shots.....but he got over that very quickly. He did gain a pound and grew almost an inch. Doctor says he's small, but healthy. She had no real concerns about his diet and prescribed some vitamins. She suggested we just attempt to reintroduce foods he's previously rejected after a period of time. He has added string cheese to the list of foods he's willing to eat, so that's a little protein at least. I was eating sloppy joes for lunch today and was shocked that he ate a few pieces of chopped meat. Progress!

I got a good laugh when Adam's certificate of citizenship arrived yesterday -- with both his name AND birthdate wrong. All they needed to do was copy the information off his paperwork and they blew it. They're doing a hell of a job in USCIS, aren't they? Good luck with that illegal alien thing.

We're going to the daycare center on Monday to talk about easing him into daycare. He's supposed to start fulltime Nov 26. I'm hoping he'll start a full week earlier and spend some time there with me, getting to know the place and the people, then have me leave for a brief time, so he knows I'll come back. Keep your fingers crossed! I think he'll ultimately do very well as he's extremely social.

And, he said his first word today! Was it Mama? No! It was "Nea", the dog's name! LOL!

So, I'm having a bad week....

....and it did not help this morning when, while out walking the dog with Adam, a man down the block asked if he was my GRANDSON! AAIIIIEEEE!!!! I comforted myself with the observation that the man was elderly, that his eyesight must be failing in his old age, and perhaps he was drunk. However, late this afternoon, while at a playground, I got the same question from a young mother. An elaborate Halloween joke, perhaps? Sigh.

Speaking of people just babbling freely when they should clearly just keep their thoughts to themselves, yesterday at the mall, a woman asked me how old Adam is. When I replied that he is 18 months old, she looked horrified and started carrying on "Well, he's much too small for his age! He should be much bigger than that!" I really really can't stand it.

So, I seem to have hit some sort of wall emotionally here, much to my own surprise. I'm suddenly having a very hard time. Adam is beautiful, healthy, smart as a whip, and hilariously funny and I can't believe I'm lucky enough that he is mine. But he is NOT what one would call an "easy" baby. And I'm feeling badly that I'm ...well...feeling badly. I'm tired and cranky and impatient, though, with extreme effort and deep breathing, I don't let the impatience surface in front of Adam. I'm pretty sure that most of this is normal and understand where a lot of it is coming from.

People don't talk about it often, but a lot of being home with a child is....gasp....boring. There is also a lot of fun and so many sweet moments, but I do find myself....bored....some of the time. I'm definitely not used to being home like this. I'm used to getting out to work and talking to adults every day. So that's a part of it.

Another part of it is Adam is at a challenging age -- moving into the terrible twos. I was thinking about it and while I imagine this is a tough time for any parent, if your child is with you from birth or adopted at a younger age, you have this relationship built up already and know the child as he/she moves through these stages. Adam and I were sort of thrust into this stage together. I can see down the road and think that once he can speak, that will alleviate some of the frustration we are both clearly feeling.

After a brief, joyous period of sleeping 12 uninterrupted hours, he's now waking up several times during the night. When he can't fall back asleep immediately, he gets so frustrated and angry. So you can add in sleep deprivation as a contributing factor to my mood.

He does have quite a temper and I've got to say that, when he's tired, he's a mean baby! LOL! He hits when he's tired and you say the dreaded "no" word.

On the bright side, I can see how much he's changed and how far he's come in the short time since we've been home. He understands absolutely everything that is said to him. Yesterday, around nap time, I asked him if he wanted to lay down and he nodded and turned and walked into the bedroom! I was stunned and impressed!

He's become soooo much more social and outgoing. I think his attachment is just about perfect. He's secure enough to be friendly, yet looks to me as sort of "home base". I noticed he has just about stopped most of the orphanage acquired self-soothing behaviors, like rocking on all fours when upset, and whipping his head violently back and forth to fall asleep -- turning, instead, to me for comfort.

I'm also frustrated with bureaucracy and paperwork -- we had an appointment Monday with the pediatrician. I had explained to them on the phone that Adam was adopted and just home from Vietnam. They advised me to bring any health information and vaccination records I had. When we got there, they asked for his adoption papers. Huh? Why would I have brought his adoption papers? "Well, how do we know you REALLY adopted him?" Sigh. Well, I would have been happy to bring them had anyone TOLD me to. It didn't matter in the long run, because it turned out that my insurance company STILL hasn't added him to my policy! I'm supposed to go back to work the Monday after Thanksgiving and I'm worried now that I won't be able to get his vaccinations in time to gently ease him into day care.

I told you I was having a bad week.