"Before we met, I wanted you...Before I found you, I loved you...Before I touched your face, I would die for you...This is the miracle of love."

How Old is Adam?

Lilypie

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. - Nelson Mandela

How is it possible that Adam turns 8 in a few weeks! 8! It is a number that struck fear into my heart -- I had the startling, panicky realization that in 10 years he'll be in COLLEGE. I only have 10 more years with him. I know he'll always be mine, but its different once they go away to college. Can't we freeze time for just a little bit? Adam asked me the other day if it was a "rule" that you have to move out when you go to college. I fully understand that he will likely feel completely different when it gets closer, but right now, he has plans to go to St. Peter's in Jersey City so he can be home by 5 p.m. everyday. There was a long period of time where this blog was my lifeline, my touchstone. It held my hand through the long wait to bring Adam home and kept me company in those crazy first few single parent years. Particularly when there was no sleeping and no pooping going on in my house. LOL! Blogging helped me think through situations and focus my attention, kept me from being distracted or distracting myself. I miss it. I think I need it. So, here we are. Much has happened in the three years since I last posted -- we gained and lost a beloved stepfather/grandfather. It was breathtaking how much influence, learning, change, healing and love a person can impart into your lives in such a short period of time. We lost our beloved dog, the much lamented Nea just over two years ago. It was as "good" a death as you can hope for -- she died in her sleep, in my bed, with her head on my stomach at the astonishing age of 19 years and 7 months. It doesn't get much better than that. We are just now to the point where we are thinking about a new dog. We are starting to miss having a dog, rather than just missing Nea. Adam just started the last semester of second grade. He is in a wonderful charter school based on the principles of Martin Luther King, Jr. He is bright, funny, tender, sentimental. He struggles with adoption issues, and deeply grieves his birth family. He has not one ounce of shyness, never has. He is open and warm. Everyone knows Adam, people on the street, in the stores, on buses and trains. He is interested in absolutely everything. You can take him anywhere and he has never once said to me "I'm bored....." He is absolutely the perfect boy for me. So, stick around. I'm back and ff and running!